i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
His nipple licking is glorious
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