The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
