Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
