im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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