i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
