So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
