Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
