The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
its not stalking. its research.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
