god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
