Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
