So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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