Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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