Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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