There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
