dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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