I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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