I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
