They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
