Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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