I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
