Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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