Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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