goodnight i made you a song goodbye
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
