Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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