I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
