Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
