i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
