I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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