What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
