i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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