lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
