Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
