I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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