as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
