Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
