The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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