dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
