She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
tell me about the eggs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
