We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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