Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
