I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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