Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
