Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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