It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
