The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
