Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am one with the molecules
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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