i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently you make a good broom.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
