this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
