hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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