Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
