She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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